Popular: The Charlie Brown Story
by XxmerthurcatxX
Summary: This just sort of happened, but ever wonder how CB ended up being the popular one in Dog Sees God? He met Glinda, that's how.


When I saw a production of Dog Sees God my first thought, after "damn he's attractive", was "How did Charlie Brown become popular?" I mean he was just a short, depressed bald kid who everyone made fun of then all of a sudden he's top dog in high school. Well, here's my explanation.

I leaned against the tree in my back yard, fighting back tears. My friend Van's sister wouldn't let me kick the football for the millionth time and I was fed up with it.

"What's wrong big brother?" my sister asked, scooching down next to me.

"All I want to do is kick that lousy football, just once. Van's sister just refuses to let me and I can't stand it!"

"Well big brother, maybe you should set your sights a little lower. I mean, sports aren't really you're thing. Maybe you should just manage from the sidelines instead."

"Well you're not very helpful."

"Fine, don't listen to me. Keep on trying to kick that ball big brother. You'll only end up falling flat on your back," she snapped, getting up and leaving me to wallow.

"Good grief. I'm starting high school in the fall; I shouldn't have to put up with all this teasing nonsense. I want to be—

"Popular?" a voice asked.

I leapt from my spot, glancing around to see who had spoken. I nearly jumped out of my skin when someone tapped on my shoulder.

A short blonde woman in a bubblegum pink dress was smiling at me.

"Who are you?" I asked.

"Don't be scared. My name is Glinda and I'm here to help."

"Help with what?"

"Your popularity problem. You see—

Music filled the air despite the lack of a stereo system. Um…okay then.

_Whenever I see someone_

_Less fortunate than I_

_(And lets face it, which isn't, less fortunate than I?)_

_My tender heart_

_Tends to start to bleed_

_And when someone needs a make over_

_I simply have to take over_

_I know, I know, exactly what they mean_

_And even in your case_

_Though it's the toughest case I've yet to face_

_Don't worry—I'm determined to succeed_

_Follow my lead_

_And yes indeed_

_You will be..._

_Popular_

_You're gonna be popular_

_I'll teach ya the proper ploys_

_When you talk to boys_

(G: "Or girls, are you into girls or boys?"

CB: "Um, I'm not really sure, there is this one guy…never mind, girls, lets go with girls."

G: "Either way, I'll teach you—)

_Little ways to flirt and flounce—Oo!_

_I'll show you what shoes to wear_

_How to fix your hair_

(CB: "what's wrong with my hair?"

G: "You don't have any, but that's okay, I'll fix that, now quit interrupting")

_Everything that really counts_

_To be popular!_

_I'll help you be popular!_

_You'll hang with the right cohorts_

_You'll be good at sports_

(CB: "But I can't even kick a football!"

G: "Shhh, not yet, but I'll teach you!")

_Know the slang you've got to know_

_So let's start_

'_Cause you've got an awfully long way to go..._

_Don't be offended by my frank analysis_

_Think of it as personality dialysis_

_Now that I've chosen to become a pal, _

_A sister, an advisor_

_There's nobody wiser, not when it comes to_

_Popular_

_I know about popular_

_And with an assist from me_

_To be who you'll be_

_Instead of dreary who you were_

_Well are—_

_There's nothing that can stop you_

_From becoming popuLER…LAR_

_La la la la_

_We're gonna make you_

_Popular_

_When I see depressing creatures_

_With unprepossessing features_

(CB: "Um, those are my feelings you're trampling on."

G: "Just keep listening-)

_I remind them on their own behalf_

_To think of_

_Celebrated heads of state or_

_Specially great communicators_

_Did they have brains or knowledge?_

_Don't make me laugh_

_They were popular!_

_Please_

_It's all about popular_

_It's not about aptitude_

_It's the way you're viewed _

_So it's very shrewd to be_

_Very, very popular like me_

"Look it's not that I don't appreciate your help, it's just that I'm pretty sure I'm beyond hope," I said.

She frowned at me.

"Oh please, that's what this is for!" She announced, pulling a pink sparkly wand out of her…boobs. Okay, that's a choice.

"I don't think—

"Maybe if you stopped thinking and weren't so negative all the time you wouldn't be so depressed. Now, just let Auntie Glinda work her magic!"

She waved her wand around over her head and spun in a big circle, making a big show out of it. Finally she stopped and bobbed me on the head once.

"Ouch!" I cried as a shower of pink sparkles floated down over me.

"Why CB, look at you…you're beautiful."

A mirror appeared in front of me so I could examine myself. I nearly fell over in shock. I had slimmed out and gotten a smidge taller, and instead of a bald head I had a full head of hair, short and brown. I'd always had brown eyes, but now they seemed deeper and more of a chocolaty color. I was dressed a pair or jeans with rips in the knees, a yellow button down shirt and black chucks.

"I…I have to go," I said, turning from my reflection and sprinting into my house.

"You're welcome!"

_And though you protest_

_Your disinterest_

_I know clandestinely _

_You're gonna grin and bear it_

_Your new found popularity_

_Ha!_

_La la la la_

_You'll be popular_

_Just not quite as popular as_

_ ME!_

So, yeah this just came to me when my friend and I were talking about Dog Sees God because she was in it in the production they did at our school. The guy who played CB was really attractive and so yeah…this just happened. Read and Review!


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